10. The Panorama. Hey, it's great that you love traveling so much that all your pics are you in front of world monuments (or just the local baseball stadium). But where are you? Oh that is you, in the sunglasses, the hat, and the big jacket, at the base of Mount Kilimanjaro? Funny, I can't tell a thing about you by looking at that pic.
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8. The Baby Daddy Shot. If you have kids and you want your potential date to know that, fine. If you don't have kids and you want your potential date to think you like kids ... think again. I'm sure I'll find out you love your nieces and nephews on our first date, but when I see them in your picture, I assume you're the kind of guy who volunteers at a nursing home just to hit on the hot visiting granddaughters.
7. The Sloppy Snapshot. Yeah, you just want everyone to know you're so fun ... but if a guy clicks through your first five photos and there's a Jagerbomb in every one, he might question whether you need a date or a sponsor.
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6. The Colorblind Pic. Using photo editing software to turn your picture black and white is great if you're going for a romantic engagement photo. In a profile pic, it's another form of an insecurity shot; we all know flaws show up best in full color.
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4. The Fluent-in-Sign-Language Shot. Hey, guys, I know you don't know where to put your hands, but please do not put them in front of your body doing any of the following: one thumb up, two thumbs up, pointing at the guy next to you with a fake-pensive look on your face, making a "Who me?" gesture, making mock gang symbols, or demonstrating the Shocker.
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3. The Outdated Photo. If all your pics are you in college gear and college bars, rocking fashion from 2005, or simply looking way too fresh-faced to match the fact that your profile says you're 28, we're going to wonder what part of aging doesn't agree with you.
2. The Hipster Pic. Oh, girl, you're such an individual with your dirty hair in your face and your refusal to smile. Maybe other members of the doucheoisie are attracted to the "ironic" angle at which you snapped your pic ... enjoy your new boyfriend's mustache and loft.
1. The Groupie Photo. Which one are you again? All I see is five guys with dark brown hair in button-down shirts. That one on the left is pretty cute ... oh, that's not you? Um, well is he on Match too??
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